An Amish Wedding

For starters, I must say: I will try my best to keep all opinions and sarcasm out of this post.

Blake says he's never gone to an amish wedding so I guess I have one up on him for a change, because that's what I did today. 

Of course there were no picture taken, due to the commonly known fact that the amish do not get their pictures taken. *A not so well known fact is that some of them have some non-amish friend or family member snap pictures of their special moments or their kids throughout their life. :)*

Here's a picture of my gift for them so my post wouldn't be completely lacking in pictures!

Amish weddings are large in the people and food department. They are simple in the fact that they are at their house, in their shop, or in their neighbor's shop, or perhaps a combination of all three. I had asked my neighbor a few weeks ago how many people they were expecting. She said that they'd invited 700 people. The wedding would start at 8:30 a.m. and the service would go until around noon and then they would eat lunch. People would hang around through the afternoon and then who is still there, will eat supper some time in the evening. Wow. That made me even more curious to go and since it's the girl who lives across the road, I could simply walk from work to attend. 

One of my non-amish friends suggested that I go later in the morning with them. Apparently it's accepted that if you're not a die-hard amish, you go later in the morning because you will get bored. 

They sure looked bored when I got there too. Women were lined up on backless benches on one side, men on the other. If amish are so family oriented, they sure didn't look it today. They pretty much even line up the ladies in age order, oldest women to young girls. When lunch rolled around I got happy for a few young mothers whose babies were getting taken care of in the house. These mothers are going to get a little date with their guys because their babies are being taken care of! Would you believe it though... once it was time to eat, the guys acted scared of the women and sat with the men and the ladies sat with the other ladies. When asked, they shrug that it is tradition. Well you wouldn't catch me sticking to that much tradition! Oh yes, no opinions...

And back to the service. My friend translated for me since, even though we live in good old America, it was in another language. There was a mix of High German and Pennsylvania Dutch. I understood a few of the Dutch words, but I really only took home a little even with what she translated.

The first couple hours the bishop just rehearses Old Testament Bible Stories. Here are a few snippets that stuck in my head. 

He talked a lot about a snake. And a lot about Satan. He spoke about how God cursed the snake and how he just about can't stand to look at the snakes at the zoo. He told a story about an old man who hiked a mountain and saw a snake, which asked him to carry her down to a warmer area. He told her that she would bite him but she promised him that she would not. So he agreed and just before he went to set her down, she bit him. He complained that she broke a promise and she said that he knew before he picked her up that she would do it.

He talked about David killing Goliath and he talked about Abraham and Lot. And Abraham and Sarah. And Isaac.

And then there was something about a bond and I got excited. Finally! They were going to talk about marriage something! 

The bummer was that it turned out to be a mistranslated word and it ended up being something about a covenant that one of the Israelites made badly.

He said "I'm talking to you plain. You have it right in the family." And then he talked a little about divorce.

About this time all the servers, dishwashers, cooks, and others, filed in. Lots of them and for a bit, you couldn't hear the bishop's droning story telling quite as plainly.

Then he said he had a story to tell that he didn't put much stock in but his grandpa says is in the Old Testament. He told the story from the Apocrypha about Tobias and something about 10 lbs of silver and a war in another country and he had to go bury the dead and he came home late and sat outside leaning against his house and someone threw straw out the window above and it got in his eye. He went blind and his wife had to spin wool to make a living. Then his son got there and there was a celebration...  I'd heard of the story but the part I had heard of must have gotten lost in the translation. I hear that story is almost always told at old order amish weddings. 

Then suddenly he said that if the couple still wants to get married, then to come forward. Everyone acted as though he was serious and no one laughed. Or chuckled. Or smiled for that matter. 

They exchanged a few vows, which if you'd dozed off for a couple seconds, you would have missed. And then apparently he said they were husband and wife by the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, but once again, I kinda missed that little detail since it wasn't in my language and there was so much  no clapping or smiles.

Then the story about Tobias started again. And the servers, and dishwashers, and cooks and others all filed back out. Solemnly, of course!

Then they all knelt to pray and then they all stood for more praying. When he said the word Jesus Christ, everyone bent their knees a bit and it looked like the room sunk about 6 inches and then popped back up.

I was told the reason they stand for some of it is because during the Early Ages when the Christians were persecuted, they stood for some of their service so no one would know it was a church service.

And then, just like that, four hours after it started, they sang four verses of a song (where every word gets an average of 8 notes) that gets sung at the end of every wedding (for about 20 minutes) and then everyone kinda milled out of there.

Then lunch happened and since I was in the basement, I couldn't even see the bride and groom. I suppose they were happy but they filed out during the song - and just before we all milled out- and it was hard telling whether they were happy. I wanted to clap for them. Due to tradition, I think, we all just sat and made sounds sang. 

And now I can say that I have indeed been to an amish wedding. 

When I got back to the shop, I stole a friend's quote and I told our amish employees:

"Walk over to the fence, and jump it".


*Editor's Note*
I have lots of friends who are amish and although I tell them what I think about their weddings, I do respect and appreciate their beliefs to an extent! Just in case you wondered. :)