About ten years ago my parents were involved with answering letters for a prison ministry. Most of the writers were men, but Mom got one letter to answer that was from a lady. Although she wasn't technically supposed to put personal info into the letter, she added a separate note of her own that simply stated that if she ever wanted to have someone to write to, here was her address.
Now, ten years later, letters go back and forth every couple of weeks. Although incarcerated, Debbie is a good friend of Mom's and is a constant prayer warrior for a lot of people!
Two years ago Mom went to visit Debbie and it meant so much to her that she set a goal that within two years, she wanted to go back and bring all three of us girls with her. And so she did!
Friday afternoon we all flew into St. Louis. It was the first time that all of us girls had been together since Lanna's wedding, only now, there aren't just four of us. :)
We didn't mind. In fact, when grammas and aunties live on the other side of the country, almost the most exciting thing in the whole world is to get to spend a whole weekend with the little girl!
Friday afternoon we went to a mall in St. Louis,
just for fun.
Kaylee tried on all the hats,
and we all marveled at how wonderful this niece of mine is.
After shopping and a Subway run, we started heading west into Vandalia to the Agape House. Run by an older lady who has a small apartment in the back, the place is designed for families who come from far away to visit people in the prison there. They charge a $5/night fee, but mostly it is a ministry for families and is funded by churches and other donations. I do believe there are other AGAPE Houses in other parts of the country, but if you ever get the chance to go to Vandalia to visit a prisoner, you should totally stay there!
While we all found it cozy, Ciara did not appreciate the sleeping conditions, and chose to let her mommy know that all.night.long. Fortunately for us, she could nurse all night. Lanna didn't appreciate that a ton, but consequently there were only some moments where she cried steadily. When morning came, she was blissfully happy.
I asked Lanna if she ever questioned whether it was cool to be a mom and she said that that night was the first time. :)
We spent Saturday morning exploring the quaint little town and took pictures on the railroad tracks.
There was a cool old hotel where they actually still rent out rooms.
We posed,
and practiced swooping down the stairs,
and just generally took pictures like sisters will do,
and when I grow up, I'm going to learn to stand up straight for pictures.
I was nervous about going into the prison. Lanna and Kaylee weren't at all. Debbie had called Mom a few times in the days leading up to us coming, totally panicked that something was going to happen where we couldn't make it. This was the highlight of her year! She was overjoyed to see us!
We talked tons, cried a bunch, and felt overwhelmed at how so many beautiful, normal looking women could end up there.
Debbie told us that she is so honored to have us "love an old con like her".
"No, we're not all sisters", we told everyone again and again. "This is actually our mom, and she and Kaylee are from Vermont. Christine is from Ohio, and Lanna is from Texas." The response was always the same "Oh my! And you came all the way here to visit someone in here? That is so sweet!"
Saturday night we walked to a little diner and stopped at the Grand Hotel on our way to show Mom.
It was creepy at night.
We traveled comfortably,
posed by the veteran's memorial bell of Vandalia,
and ate egg yolk.
Some of us also practiced walking. :)
The second day when we went to see Debbie again, the news about us being there had spread amongst both the inmates and the guards. One of the guards asked her on her way into the visiting room if we were Penecostals. Debbie said "Nope! They're Hippies! WWJD hippies!"
There you have it. Guess we're all hippies. :)
Although we didn't exactly hear the whole story of why she ended up there, we do know that someone lost their life and that she is serving a 35 year sentence.
I asked her if there was one thing that snapped in her life or if her 40 years leading up to going there were just all bad. She got very quiet and said that yes, there was something. She told me she didn't mind if I told her story here, so as she told it:
She was raised by her grandparents and had a basically good childhood. When she was in her early teens her grandpa died. It was at sixteen when she was dating a sweet guy that she said the turning point of her life came. She got pregnant. It was in the sixties, before Roe vs. Wade, and so abortion was not legal everywhere. Her boyfriend's family did not approve and refused to let her keep the baby, so they flew her to NYC for an abortion. She was picked up in a limousine with lots of other high class women. It was obvious that to those ladies, this was just an inconvenience that they were just going to get taken care of, but to her, she was losing her baby.
And she was devastated.
Once she got back home, she decided that nothing else mattered anymore. She started dressing in black and the kids at school who had offered her drugs before, were now able to get her to start taking the drugs. She did have two children later and although she led a semi normal life, she never quit the drugs. In fact, she was so stoned at the time of the altercation which landed her there, that she does not even remember it. The rest of the story involved something about a stalker and a lot of confrontation and begging the police to do something. That part of the story scared me because it seemed so real, like something that any of us could face, yet how we react to the situation will determine the course of our lives.
Moral of the story: avoid drugs, abortions, and scary guys; Find Jesus.
She truly believes that all that happened so that she can have the chance to help other women in there find Jesus and get their lives turned around. She kept telling us that by us loving her and encouraging her, she is renewed and encouraged to do the same for the ladies there.
We did get to have our picture taken together, but I'll have to wait till we get it from Debbie to be able to post it here.
Sunday afternoon, after hugging her goodbye, we drove to Roach, Missouri to visit friends at NTM's Mission Training School.
Lanna got to see some good friends from school.
We stayed with Craig and Sara, and I got to meet their little girl. Ashea and Kaylee hit it off. :)
Sara made a delicious meal of sweet potato fries and spinach & chicken salad! Yum!
The MTC campus is located right on Lake of the Ozarks and we tried taking pictures, but the sun was super bright!
Ciara's head band would not stay in the correct spot for pictures anyway. :)
She also was pretty much devastated to have to hang out with me typically,
but at one point we found a spoon and that was fun.
Look, we even look alike! :)
We took one last picture of us all together
and then said good bye and cried a lot and now we have lots of happy memories and look forward to the next time we can all be together again!
